About three days ago I slipped in the bath, crashed to the floor back-first, smacked my head on the tiles and grazed the inside of my upper arm on the toilet seat (it’s a small bathroom, go with it). As it turns out the Waitrose bubble bath1 I’d dolloped in was an extraordinarily good lubricant and my feet went sliding as I got in.
My head’s fine, it’s taken so many knocks over the years that it’s learned to cope with my clumsy awkwardness. My back was a bit sore for a few days and now it’s fine. The inside of my arm, however, is a different story. It’s soft skin (thanks in no small part to the bubble bath, I imagine) and took a good mashing as I made my way to the deck with some panache. The bruise is coming through, now, and looks like a top-down view of Malaysia with colours that I’ve never seen before. Blackurplegreeblue sums it up pretty well. It’s about 15cm (6”) long and 5cm (2”) wide and looks superb.
Unrelated to this, I’ve had a persistent cough for 5 days and yesterday I started making noises very much like Aphex Twin’s Ventolin. Now, when I cough, and I’m doing it rather more often than I’d like thanks to the dust and other crud in the air right now, I actively make a point of trying to sound like the noises in that video.
And finally, I’m listening to Aphex Twin again after a break of about 5 years.
1 The manly, hetero Waitrose bubble bath, of course. And no, Waitrose, if you’re reading, I won’t be suing you for having bath foam that doesn’t dissolve properly.