Pete Cooper

My skin is a total mess. After 7 weeks of near daily walking, 50+ individual journeys, rain, snow, wind and sweat my body has started to physically detox. I have a forehead that’s as smooth as a baby’s behind and cheeks (on my face, before you ask) that resemble a war zone. I’ve got blotches, zits and blobs that I haven’t had in 15+ years. I’m sure that under my beard there’s even more carnage going on – it’s a bit like a car crash, I can’t help but look.

I shower and rehydrate whenever I get back from a walk, and I’m typically pretty clean at any given time. I don’t use face creams or any of the metrosexual stuff people of my age are supposed to be slapping on. I can surmise, then, that this is a reaction to an increased metabolism, and some kind of internal improvements pushing the toxins out of my system. Some days I used to wake up with sore muscles, that’s completely gone, now. I can now see and feel improvements, and the only reason I bang on about them here is because this has never happened to me before. You’re very likely to be getting a bit bored of me yapping about this all the time, I’m still shocked and part of me thinks it’s all going to come back and bite me in the cheeks (not on my face) before much longer.

I’ve talked before about the link between brain and body. I’ve had a self-destructive relationship with both of them in the past: I used to over-eat and under-exercise, which did me no good, and while my brain was still popping along at a fair old rate, I’ve always been frustrated with my lack of ability to capitalise on what I can really do. I used to drink to dull my sensations and frustrations, I used to dumb down when I talked with some people and I used to filter what I said on the grounds that I would inevitably say something so stupid or out of place that I’d be ostracised and end up a lonely, friendless hermit.

My fondness for calorie-heavy food has gone. Actually, that’s not true – I still have cravings for huge piles of carbs when I get back from a long walk, but it’s proper food these days and not some indulgent, lardy, calorie-packed crud-fest. I like beans. I like brown rice. I like fish. Every day I seem to have an increasing liking of whole foods and things that I should be eating and not things that I used to eat.

I don’t drink, now. Well, I haven’t touched any since the end of January. I was never at the point where I drank to get drunk and do stupid things, I was happy being a bit buzzed on good vodka, Jagermeister or the occasional White Russian. Booze worked well for working late as it took the edge off of my brain sparks while I got the work done. I have never been cultured enough to understand or appreciate wine, my selection criteria depends on the label or a few named vineyards that I have some experience with – and even then it’s down to other people choosing a good one, and me stealing the idea for another time. Perhaps summer will change things and I’ll have a hankering for a gin and tonic or Pimms with trimmings. I don’t see it right now, there’s no appeal in it for me. I haven’t been so bold as to pour it all down the sink, although I have done that in the past – nor have I started talking to it like I did with the Oreos earlier this year. Booze and I co-exist, and that’s fine.

I don’t hold back on what I want to say any longer. I’m done with that. I’ve found my place in a small circle of people who get me for being me, and it happens that they’re all wired on my wavelength, so I don’t have to filter what I say to avoid being an outcast. The energy I was putting into being this person is now used for thinking and doing, on top of what I was already doing, which is yielding some good side-effects. My days are better, on the whole, despite some bone-crunchingly depressive days and I’m starting to get a handle of what my future holds. I’m still in transition, of course, but each day that I do this and get through without incident or badness, the memory of the old me fades a little. New me isn’t yet polished or ready for primetime, but I’ll let you know when I am.

In fact, I’ll make you a promise: you’ll be one of the first to know.

About a week and a half ago I had a madcap idea to buy a rowing machine to improve my upper body and core strength. I’ve set myself a target of losing a stone (14lb, or about 6.3kg) in six weeks. When I wrote that post I weighed 303lb, which means I have until the end of March to get to 289lb. I hit a plateau for nearly a week – it was almost as if deciding to get a rowing machine stopped my metabolism and I was walking in vain for days. As of today I weigh 298lb – it’s the first time I can recall in the last few years weighing in at less than 300lb. This is a big deal. I’m pleased, of course, but I’m hungry for more…I want more than just weight loss, now, I want physical strength and perhaps some tone when the time is right. I won’t ever be a body builder or threatening anyone on Muscle Beach, but personal strength is becoming more important to me. To clarify, I’m talking about physical and mental strength, both of which are linked in some fashion.

I have 30 days in which to lose (and keep off) a further 9lb. I can do this. I will do this. I’ll be a rowing machine owner, soon. With, like, muscles and tone, an’ stuff.

I suppose it had to happen eventually. My Shure earbuds have given up and died. I’ve had them for nearly 10 years, though I didn’t use them heavily. Now I’m in two minds as to what to do. I have similar in-ear headphones (are they earphones if they don’t go over/around your head?) that I’ve had for 6 years and also used very little. There’s not much logic in buying some new, cheap earphones that’re not going to last a while, I might as well use proper ones that I know will be a bit more resilient to the rigours of walking around the mean streets of Oxfordshire. I will admit to taking a degree of pleasure in pulling the buds off the wires, throwing them in the bin and flouncing off in a hissy fit, much to the delight of a passing motorist.

This got me thinking about what other costs I’m incurring while I’m on my stomping sessions. I don’t wear expensive, whizzy clothes when I’m out and about – I have a green fleece jacket that I picked up in a sale for £3, a £5 hi-viz jacket, a plain black t-shirt (of which I have many), various cheap pairs of shorts (usually two pairs – one outer to keep the warm in, the other pair underneath to keep my man parts in check), cheap socks (again, two pairs) and Karrimor walking shoes. I’ve got spare shoes on hand ready for when my current pair fizzle and wear out. I’m anticipating another 150 miles or so before the rubber soles wear down to the foam properly and I start getting wet feet in the rain. Other recent purchases are socks, socks and more socks: Dickies work socks are ace, I now have some Merino mix socks to make me feel a bit posh (and they were only £4 a pair) and I splurged on some Dickies thermals for when it’s properly cold out.

Beyond the provisioning of replacement shoes, it’s a pretty cheap way to get calories burned and a leg workout. The only side-effect of it seems to be the desire to get more fit in different ways away from walking, specifically to improve my upper body strength and overall bendiness. There’s money involved with getting a rowing machine, for example, although once it’s purchased the ongoing maintenance costs will be minimal. I’m hoping that when it comes to that point I’ll be able to justify the cost with a much-improved health outlook and – dare I say it – a better physique. Then I need to calculate the costs of staying on tip-top form.

It’s been a challenging and turbulent week on a number of fronts, and my resolve has been thoroughly tested. I’m still here, as is clear from my writing this post from bed on a Sunday morning, and I’m quickly learning how to dodge and bounce back from most things life sends my way.

A business deal very nearly hit the skids last week. I won’t go into more details here, suffice to say it appears loyalty may have played a part and we’re still working for this client. They’re the kind of client who are occasionally tricksy to work for, but once you know how they do things – and have a modicum more patience than you think you’ll need – they’re pretty straightforward, most of the time. There are days when they throw out some properly whacky curveballs, but that’s just part of the experience.

I’m behind on my walking and exercise plans, and there’s some minor food trauma I’m working off. Three days out to Cornwall last week meant my schedule was a bit muddled and the inevitable catch-up now we’re back is taking its toll. The plans we made for a Cornwall trip for Emma’s birthday were largely stuck to, although the number of people around the Eden Project was far higher than we expected thanks to half term. By early afternoon our time there had come to a natural conclusion and we left the place feeling OK – not great, just OK. The timing of the visit was perhaps the issue, the increased foot traffic and seasonal growing factors meant that there wasn’t much to see outside. On the plus side, it hasn’t been scrubbed off the list of places to visit, and we both seem to be in favour of having our respective nerd days in the local area: Emma can be a plant fiend at Eden, maybe accompanied by one of her local-ish plan fiend chums, and I can go wandering around the coast to take photos. I did manage to get some fresh air and exercise in the afternoon of the Eden Project day as I headed up to Wadebridge and the surrounding area when Emma was having a post-Eden snooze. The north coast reminded me what it is I love about the area, and after a rather humid/muggy morning dodging hyperactive kids it felt great to have some fresh air back in my lungs and a smile on my face.

And so, to today. The post-Cornwall catch-up is continuing, and my day plan is still somewhat disjointed. I expect to get to Wednesday before things are properly back on track, but there’s currently no time limit on these things. I’d much rather have time spent usefully than rush things and make rash decisions. I can stretch my days to include things that need to be done, my previous (bad) habit of slinking off to bed at 9pm regardless of what I was doing because I needed sleep has all but gone. Today was originally allocated to learning for a new project, but 4 days of backed up busy work isn’t going to magically go away, so a bit of cleverness and juggling is in order, along with some more time in my Sunday.

Oh, and some breakfast. That’s the first thing on my list, today.

I’m a calorie bore. I’m not yet an obsessive, just a bore. There’s a thin line betwixt the too, but I’m on the safe side of that line. I pay more attention to what’s in the food I eat, these days, and if I can avoid excessively fatty or unhealthy food I tend to. I also look at the calories I’ve burned after each walk, thanks to the whizzy RunKeeper thingy I have, and I’ll soon be entering into a new phase of calorie nerdism: how can I most efficiently burn 1,000 calories. It used to take me 7+ miles of walking and two hours to chug through 1,000 calories – it was an epic Abingdon outer ring road walk, plus some wandering down by the Thames, that I could only practically do at the weekend due to the amount of time involved. I eventually squeezed that two hour walk down to under 100 minutes, while at the same time ensuring that the magical 1,000 calorie barrier had been passed. I’m not so fond of the monolithic walk around the outer ring road, now – it’s a bit boring, if I’m honest, and the idea that I can’t just jack it in and come home relatively easily if I get too tired is another factor against it.

Some quick sums indicate that I can, all being well, increase my town centre ring road circuits to five or six, and keep up a pace over 3.5mph for the duration I can get 1,000 calories zapped in 90 minutes. That’s an hour and a half of my day, each day. My days are fuller and longer than they used to be, I don’t feel a requirement to sleep as long as I used to, and getting up early in the morning is no real hardship. Here’s the thing: I reckon with a bit of practise I can get up, go for a 90 minute stomp, get home, showered and ready for work for 9am. Add to this the fact that I no longer have any desire for crud food I can bounce through my day without even watching portion size or what I’m eating.

I dread to think what I’ll look and feel like when I’m rowing each day, too, though I suspect a 90-minute, 1,000 calorie walk and rowing is the wrong side of insane.